Get out of your own way

Sometimes I don’t feel like I have enough patience. I don’t feel like reminding my children a half a dozen times to do something. I don’t feel like cleaning up the living room for the tenth time this week. I don’t feel like cooking dinner for one adult and two children (who never want to eat the same meal). Sometimes I don’t feel like getting on the treadmill or exercising at all. Sometimes I don’t feel like being an adult. And sometimes my feeling are real…

I may not feel like being an adult, or being patient, or being healthy, but I know that I want my children to look up to me. I want my son and daughter to see a strong person, parent, mother, and woman. I want them to be proud of me and to learn from me. I choose my children. I choose patience. I choose love. I choose to get out of my own way.

I may not feel like cleaning up the same things I did yesterday, but I do because I want a clean home and for my children to learn respect for their belongings. I may not feel like cooking, but I prepare a meal for my children every night and sneak vegetables and fruits onto their plates because I am a mother.  I definitely may not feel like exercising some days, but I want to be healthy and strong for my children that way I am here for years to come, so I run anyway.

There are a lot of times when I want to be lazy and there are times when I make mistakes. If there is one thing that I have learned from raising two tiny humans is that regret gets you nowhere. Regret tells me I am weak and I should give up. Regrets tells me to crawl under the covers and hide from my choices. Regret isn’t something I can accept. Granted, I can’t wave my magic wand and start fresh each day, I can take the things I don’t want to do and have control over them. I can choose to take deep breaths when bartering with my children to pick up their toys. I can get creative when cooking pasta and butter 5 nights a week. I can convince myself to exercise because I know how good the end result feels. I get out of bed every morning and face the day like it’s a new page in my book. Not a clean slate, but a new chapter. I choose to love my children and push myself to do my best because that is what I am here for. Aren’t you?  xxx Alyson

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