As the end of the school year arrives today, I can’t help but reflect on the year. I’ve always used the school year as a time reference to gage the changes and growth in my life, even as I child. This morning, I find myself thinking about all the ups and downs my children and I faced this school year. The days I forgot their water bottles on the counter and had to race back home. The times we searched franticly on a Tuesday morning for a missing book that had to be returned because it was “library day.” All the little responsibilities that go into raising school aged children. It isn’t easy. If you’re alone for “the morning routine,” then you understand that wake-ups, breakfast, and getting dressed can some days feel like you’re climbing Mount Everest. You get that sometimes it’s a race and other times it’s a pleasure. You understand that every morning is different, but the goal never changes.
As a parent, I want to send my babies off to school clean, fed, dressed, and happy. It’s just that not every morning goes smoothly. I’ve learned to accept that. Being a single parent isn’t always a choice. Being is a mother is. It’s a choice you make every day. As a mother, I choose to put my children’s needs and happiness ahead of my own. I do my best to teach my children the hard lessons and start each day with a clean slate. (Yes, sometimes I yell and I am by no means perfect). I’m often faced with decisions and I’m not sure what the right thing to do is. I’ve learned to go with my “gut” and forgive myself time and time again for doing everything wrong some days.
When I tell my children “I love you,” I don’t say it out of habit or to make a conversation. I say it to remind them that they are THE BEST thing that ever happened to me. I entered into motherhood young. It has given me more time as parent and less time as a single individual. A blessing and a curse, but one I would never alter. My heart has lived outside my body since 2008. I think about my babies day and night and especially when they are not with me. They will never understand how much they have taught me and I can only hope that one day they experience the same love they have given me.
With these words I will say “Good bye 2015-2016 School Year.” You have brought much joy, laughter, stress, tears, and accomplishments. Thank you for the life lessons. We will see you in the fall! xo